Kalbzayn's Writing World - Reviews

Need a little more Halloween?

kalbzayn@gmail.com (Mike Miller) — Wed, 01 Nov 2006 11:52:01 -0700

Can you still feel the sugar digging into you teeth? Are you still looking for black cats before you move? Do you still have face paint stuck to your pillow case?

I bet you are suffering from INeedALittleMoreHalloweenitis. There is no cure, but the symptoms can be treated. Studies have shown that reading Halloween short stories the day after Halloween can greatly reduce the discomfort of INeedALittleMoreHalloweenitis in 7.42 out of every 8.951 patients.

Doctor StruggingWriter has some medicine for you at his site. Go read one story and call me in the morning if you still are suffering from the dreaded INeedALittleMoreHalloweenitis .

Snakes on a Plane is probably perfect

kalbzayn@gmail.com (Mike Miller) — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 07:31:32 -0700

I do not know much about the movie Snakes On A Plane (SOAP) other than the basic plot and how the idea exploded on the internet and feedback from the internet helped shape certain scenes and lines in the movie.

Oh yeah, and the movie sucks.

Seth Godin knew the movie sucked and did not want to see it. Good job Seth. Way to read the tea leaves there.

They expected the movie to bring in around $20 million during the opening weekend. It fell short. Somewhere around $15 million if I remember correctly. Again, if I remember correctly, it cost about $30 million to make.

What a lousy flop for a movie with so much hype! Maybe Seth is correct in thinking:

just because people know who you are doesn't mean they're going to buy what you sell.

Seth seems to be forgetting how most movies make money. Especially bad, campy movies. When this thing hits DVD, it will probably explode. I would imagine right around Christmas time would be a great time to release the DVD.

People will buy it for their friends and dads so they can sit around laughing at the ridiculous movie and waiting for Samuel Jackson's infamous lines. People will sit around in dorm rooms doing shots with each snake attack.

Movies do not have to be good to be popular. When was the last weekend that TNT did not play Showgirls? Bad movies are entertaining. You do not have to sit around looking for deeper meaning.

Leopold (sorry - can't find a permalink so this may have faded from his frontpage) says of SOAP:

It'll be a movie that was better before it was made, will be remembered and celebrated in people's imaginations more than on celluloid. It would have been better if it never was made in the end.

He might be somewhat right. The biggest flaw of this movie is that it will not be bad enough. People are expecting it to be bad. If it has any redeeming qualities at all, that could be a problem. But again, this is a made for DVD and TV movie that just happened to get thrown into the theater first. The best thing that could happen to it could very well be flopping at the theater. That will just spike the attention in buying the DVD and staying up late to watch it on TNT.

Face it. We love a catastrophe. Even when it is orchestrated. Ever watch a building getting demolished or dynamited? Thought so.

Technorati tags: Snakes On A Plane, Samuel Jackson

Clerks II

kalbzayn@gmail.com (Mike Miller) — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 21:47:29 -0700

I love movies that decide that they are going to be rated R and just have fun with it. I just saw Clerks II. I loved it. It is crazy, out of control fun. It doesn't try to drag on for hours.

And just in case you weren't going to be offended with a donkey show, Kevin Smith even found a way to make that scene even more shocking.

And it even had romance. If only all chic flicks were this good.

Some Funny Comics

kalbzayn@gmail.com (Mike Miller) — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 09:44:29 -0700

Here are some funny comics for you to read.

Global Warming
World Averages
Carbon-14 Club

Pretty funny stuff.

JA Konrath - Bloody Mary

kalbzayn@gmail.com (Mike Miller) — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 08:55:16 -0700

I recently finished reading Bloody Mary by JA Konrath. I've already reviewed the first book in the serious, Whiskey Sour, so go check it out if you haven't started the series yet.

Blood Mary continues shortly after Whiskey Sour. Jack Daniels is still having trouble sleeping but many other aspects of her personal life get fleshed out in a much more detailed manner in this book. Her ex husband, relationship with her mom, and new boyfriend get a lot of coverage in this book which really strenghtens Jack as a character.

Once again a crazy killer is after Jack. If I were Jack, I would think about early retirement. I've had some people that really didn't like me in the past, but have not had two people try to hunt me down and kill me. With a third book on the shelves right now, and if I've heard correctly a fourth in the pipeline, I hope Jack has some good life insurance.

Jack's sidekick is going through some big body image/marriage problems, but I felt that most of his problems got swept under the rug of too fat man/low carb/sexual performance enhancer jokes. If he isn't going to be shaped into anything more than an opportunity to introduce corny jokes as the series goes on, that would be a real shame.

I'm still undecided about how Konrath handles the chapters told through the eyes of the bad guy. Going from 1st person past tense to 3rd person present tense is a little awkward. Especially the tense shift. I would prefer for everything to either be past tense or present tense.

The bad guy gets captured much earlier than I expected. Like all good bad guys he manages to make that a temporary situation. Like all bad good cops, they should have never presented him with the opportunity to escape that he was given.

There are some gross, creepy moments in the story involving the inhabitants of morgues and the way some people appreciate the dead. Creepy. Konrath knows how to make a bad guy that you have zero sympathy for, you just want him caught and locked up or dead.

I liked this book quite a bit more than the first in the series. There was much more tension. Konrath really seems to be growing into the series which shows no sign of ending any time soon. Start reading the books now so you don't end up in a situation where you have to read five books just to get caught up when somebody decides to make a movie about one of the books.

Technorati tags: JA Konrath, Bloody Mary, novel, crime novel, mystery novel, mystery

Cars Review

kalbzayn@gmail.com (Mike Miller) — Tue, 13 Jun 2006 21:28:39 -0700

The kids took a crazy long nap today. Recently they've been wanting to go to bed pretty early whether they take a nap or not. They didn't wake up until 5:30pm tonight (we normally kick them out of bed around 3pm if they aren't already up).

We had been planning on seeing Cars again someday because the kids really seemed to latch onto the characters. Knowing they'd be up for a while, we hustled over to the theater and watched Cars again.

There are scenes in that cartoon that you swear they are shooting live video...and then the car smiles. The quality of the animation makes it really easy to suspend your disbelief. The plot is nice and comfortably predictable. Perfect for kids. I read a review that made fun of the predictability of the plot. He must have went with his Mensa buddies, ate cheese and crackers and drank wine instead of taking his toddler and eating popcorn. Within the traditional formula, there are plenty of one liners and even a bit of a surprise at the end (at least for me).

Well done, Pixar and Disney. As a computer geek, I have to believe that Pixar would have to be one of the dream companies to work for. Everything they do is amazing and with each film they get better at what they do.

Joe Konrath - Whiskey Sour review

kalbzayn@gmail.com (Mike Miller) — Wed, 03 May 2006 08:26:13 -0700

I enjoy reading J.A. Konrath's blog. There seems to be a fair amount of good advice and there is almost always a ton of comments from the other readers.

I decided to read his book Whiskey Sour so I headed to the library and picked up a copy.
Continue reading "Joe Konrath - Whiskey Sour review"

United 93 movie

kalbzayn@gmail.com (Mike Miller) — Thu, 27 Apr 2006 11:44:54 -0700

If someone you knew had been beaten as a child and Hollywood made a movie about it, would you watch it and praise the powerful emotions that it evoked.

Hollywood is about to launch the movie of the time we were all beaten.
Continue reading "United 93 movie"

Game Quest - review

kalbzayn@gmail.com (Mike Miller) — Wed, 26 Apr 2006 18:42:02 -0700

I've talked before about a book I stumbled upon called Game Quest.

About half of the book is available to preview online which is what suckered me in.

Anyway, I finally finished reading it. Sometimes I am the slowest reader in the world and happy to get through 10 pages in a night. I guess trying to find time to read while writing my own novel is tough.

This book is very good, though. Once I got into the story I started getting frustrated that I didn't have more time to devote each day to reading it. Then as I got close to the end I just gave up on the other things and plowed through it.

The book is about a computer game company that goes through a hostile takeover by a large company in the 90's. You get to see the takeover through several of the employees from the owners of the company down to an intern, and also the owners' daughter who is a senior in high school when the book starts.

I kept expecting the book to get weird and run off into odd computer geeky passages, but Leopold McGinnis does a good job of writing a novel, not a gimmick.

The emotions of each character are explored fully during the various stages of the takeover. You also get to see the details of how these cold business events happen. Having gone through several downsizing, corporate restructuring events in the past, I can verify that he captured the helplessness the normal employess experience.

The book starts with a bang. The first two chapters are very entertaining. Then there's a block where I thought the pace slowed a bit until the takeover really kicks into gear about a third of the way through. From there on, everything moves quickly and keeps you wanting to read more.

As a bit of a computer geek, I had high geek expectations going into the book. I quickly realized this book is really much more about how people react to the cold, bottom line that companies work under today. There was enough residual geek to keep me satisfied, but none of it would even come close to bothering a non-geek.

The book is available for purchase through his website. If you are interested in purchasing The Red Fez at the same time (here's my review of the novella) you can use this link and get a discount.

If you don't feel like trusting some guy you've never met before, you can order the book through Amazon but you won't be able to get the discount for bundling it with The Red Fez and Leopold won't make as much money.

If you tell him I sent you, he'll probably autograph the book which he can't do if you order from Amazon. I also got a bookmark, so I'd push for one of those, too.

Update: I've decided that I might as well use somebody elses hard work to get people to read my stuff. So, anybody that buys either Game Quest or The Red Fez can email me at kalbzayn at gmail dot com (or just put a comment in a post) and I will email them one of my short stories in PDF form.

The Red Fez - review

kalbzayn@gmail.com (Mike Miller) — Wed, 26 Apr 2006 09:59:22 -0700

What happens when a national relic suddenly is missing in Algiers in 1936?

Well, there's the grapefruit embargo ordered by the French, of course. And a wild every man and woman for themself free for all.

Leopold McGinnis' novella The Red Fez tells this mystery. The pace is non-stop. The coniving is convincing. The friendships and associations are pushed to their limits as everbody hides information trying to get their hands on the relic.

Habibi, the Algerian man who constantly waxes his mustache and hides things in his bra, has the relic. But, British collector, the French government, and a local bar owner are all trying to get their hands on it.

My favorite part was when Habibi escapes from the desert. I won't give away any details, but I laughed out loud.

The book is in a zine format with a attractive, sturdy, color paperback cover.

This is a story I would have loved to have written and highly recommend.

McGinnis sells the book from his website.

He has a novel, Game Quest, that he also sells and if you buy them both you get a discount.

I've also reviewed Game Quest here.

Update: I've decided that I might as well use somebody elses hard work to get people to read my stuff. So, anybody that buys either Game Quest or The Red Fez can email me at kalbzayn at gmail dot com (or just put a comment in a post) and I will email them one of my short stories in PDF form.

Not again, Robert Jordan

kalbzayn@gmail.com (Mike Miller) — Thu, 23 Feb 2006 09:36:56 -0700

Robert Jordan is trying to kill me.

I'm been struggling through the Wheel of Time as it slowly rolls toward its conclusion. I've finished 9 of the books and started the 10th.

Robert Jordan is not shy. He does not just get to the point and let the story roll. He builds slowly and describes everything which is pretty neat a lot of the time.

But, right now Robert Jordan is trying to kill me.

I'm listening to New Spring on CD. There are 11 CDs in all. I just finished the first and about a quarter of the second. Most of the time has been spent intricately detailing the Aes Sedai tower.

The first time he showed the tower several books ago it was very nice to get all of the details. He's redone it in every book so far.

If you're going to take up enough time in my life to get me to read 12 books on one story, at least save me the constantly repeating details. I don't need you to redescribe every single character down to how frequently they tug their ponytail in every book of the series.

I bet if I was given the chance to edit each of the last three books of the series that I have read, I would be able to cut a coule hundred pages from each book just by getting rid of the repeats and trimming down some of the details like which candles are decorating the room you've been describing for the last 6 books. And, all of that cutting would do nothing to any of the books except make them read a little quicker.

While I'm at it, quit telling me the difference between Saidar and Saidan. I get it. Certain fundamentals of the world shouldn't need repeated in each book in the series. Those of us following the series deserve better than that, and the people just jumping into the series should have some kind of incentive to read the earlier books.

Wifey, my birthday is right around the corner

kalbzayn@gmail.com (Mike Miller) — Tue, 21 Feb 2006 14:47:42 -0700

I know, I know. I just got round to installing the shower CD player you bought me a while ago, but if you run out of ideas for my birthday, what could be better than a new shower clock radio with all the new "special" features.

Sneaky and creepy.

Holly Lisle Fiction Writing Resources

kalbzayn@gmail.com (Mike Miller) — Tue, 21 Feb 2006 13:21:29 -0700

I like to write. It is very theraputic to just sit down and start creating a story. I have a much easier time coming up with ideas and situations than actually creating the full story.

Whenever I'm having trouble focusing on the larger picture I like to go to Holly Lisle's website. The right column is just stuffed with useful information.

Holly Lisle has published tons of books and she really knows what she is talking about. All of the advice given on the website focuses on two things.

Writing isn't easy, so you probably shouldn't quit your day job just yet.

Writing is something that can be improved upon if you are willing to work at it.

There are no magic formulas, no promises that you will get published just by reading her information. The information on the site takes you everywhere from creating characters, writing scenes, writing outlines, setting goals and many other topics.

I have a fear of writing past the 10th page. I am currently working on building an outline using the tips on her Notecarding: Plotting Under Pressure page. I like her plan to get some structure but not too much.

While trying to come up with my outline I realized that I have a few too many holes to get started on the writing yet. With the notes that I've put together, I am able to identify some of these holes and address them now instead of scrambling when I fall into the hole later.

If you are looking for tips to help you improve your writing, or just inspiration to get started, you need to check out Holly Lisle's site.

Curious George Sighting

kalbzayn@gmail.com (Mike Miller) — Sat, 18 Feb 2006 21:08:25 -0700

We took the kids to see Curious George tonight. In all, we had our 3 year old twins, and their 2 year old cousin.

Curious George is one of the favorite book characters around our house. The kids call him Monkey George. Whenever we go to the library, our daughter wants to check out a new Curious George book.
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Olympic Update - Men's Snowboard Cross

kalbzayn@gmail.com (Mike Miller) — Thu, 16 Feb 2006 19:41:28 -0700

Men's Snowboard Cross is what is on my TV right now as I procrastinate my real projects. It's a new made up Winter Olympic event.
Continue reading "Olympic Update - Men's Snowboard Cross"